My first birthday without cake. I woke up on April 3rd and covered my hands over my eyes and tried to imagine the textures and flavors of a Dairy Queen Ice Cream Cake. Like all things Korean, especially special occasions, everything was a bit irregular.
I met with six of my coworkers at the Outback Steakhouse across from work for a birthday lunch. I asked all of my students what restaurants usually do when it is your birthday and was shocked to find out that they typically do nothing for the celebrated patron. I expected quite the opposite as so much of Korean culture has to do with gift giving and the acceptance of free presents. Restaurants most especially are associated with “free side dishes” so it took me by surprise when I was told most restaurants don’t even give you a slice of cake.
Jay chatted with our waitress in Korean and told her it was my birthday. I was so excited to see how the management were going to handle my celebration. We were first told we would all get free juice (are we seven years old?). The manager then came by and said instead of the free juice we could enjoy a thirty dollar bottle of wine for six dollars. The table was soon covered in steak, salads and soups. Half of the people at the table decided to pass on the wine so over the next hour I was responsible for consuming half the bottle.
This was at 1pm, an hour before I had to be at work. I have never been so captivated by the giggles. At the end of the meal I was swishing my last glass of wine when the service staff came over to the table. They had placed a pumpernickel loaf on a plate and drizzled it with raspberry sauce, speared several birthday candles into the crust and urged me to make a wish. The staff sang happy birthday in Korean, the table sang in English. It was all so ridiculous. I blew out the candles and bowed and smiled at the staff for their lovely gift. I wasn’t really sure if I was actually supposed to eat the bread covered in raspberry sauce so I sort of poked at it on my plate. I finally took a bite and everyone at the table hysterically laughed at me when my face took on a disgusted expression. Without a doubt, the most memorable birthday cake of my life.
We all arrived at work thirty minutes before the students would be hopping off the bus and rushing up the elevators to their classrooms. I stared at the clock, it was 3:50pm and I was mildly intoxicated. A few of my coworkers came in the room to laugh at me before the students took their seats. I spent the next few hours prancing around the class with much animation. None of the children seemed to notice any differences in my behavior. I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing!
During homework check many of my student’s plopped gifts on my desk. Much appreciated gestures. I was given several bottles of Starbucks Frappuccino, Hershey’s Dark Chocolate, yoghurt, a pencil case, a can of Pringles and a box of freshly prepared sushi. When I returned to the class from the first break my white board was covered in a Japanimation mural of birthday wishes. I was also given this adorable birthday card from one of my most awkward students, Noelle:
To Andrew my Teacher.
Thank You for teach me and Memory Mega students.
Have good cake.
Drink many Soju.
Smile many times at ladies.
And Happy Birthday
Since my birthday fell on a weekday I decided to wait until the weekend to go out and celebrate properly. On Saturday Dale and I walked through Children’s Grand Park which is a short twenty minute walk from our neighborhood. Korean festive smells hung in the air; dehydrated octopus, squid and boiling bug larvae. Makes me heave.
The park is huge and free (you really can’t ask for more!) The sidewalks were packed full of families, strollers carrying little Korean babies and couples holding hands as they flirted in the warm Spring air. The park has a large pond, soccer field and botanical gardens at the front entrance. I huge fountain surrounded by marble statues shot a plume of water into the air spreading a light mist into the air. Signs of Spring could be seen everywhere. Beds full of multi-coloured tulips were a bit of a shock to the senses after such a long cold winter. The month of April is a busy time to visit the Park as it is the Cherry and Plum blossom festival. Several major pedestrian walkways are lined on either side by beautiful Cherry trees in bloom. Korean photographers with their massive professional Nikon and Canon cameras snapped pictures madly at the little buds.
We then walked over a small hill and found ourselves looking over the Amusement Park. Stocked with carnival rides, monorail and roller coaster. I was most captivated by the coin operated cars which were disguised as stuffed animals. I spotted many toddlers sitting on stuffed zebras, giraffe’s and lions as their mothers drove them through the park being sure not to hit any of the pedestrians.
Our last stop was the open air zoo complex. Lions, tigers, grizzly bears, zebra, ostrich, elephant, seals, polar bears, deer, monkeys and a variety of caged birds. This was my first Asian zoo experience and having seen many 20/20 style reports on the conditions of Asia’s zoo’s I was not all too impressed. The animal quarters lacked any resemblance of natural habitat. The Polar Bears paced up and down cement walk ways with Antarctic scenes painted on the walls. The elephant display was particularly sad. The open air elephant theater formed a semi circle where onlookers could lean against the railing and stare down at a massive Indian elephant as it lumbered from the left corner, to the center, to the right corner and back again. I felt like I was watching some sort of dog show. I am certain the elephant made eye contact with me and whispered, “get me the hell out of here buddy.” It was obvious many of the zoo animals used to be in the circus. The North American concept of going to the zoo to see animals acting naturally was all but lost. A large group of children stood in front of a Grizzly Bear’s exhibit and whenever they cheered or clapped the bear got on its hind legs, walked around, clapped its hands and made moaning noises. They all giggled while I felt so sad for the pain that this bear must have gone through to instinctively act in such a showy fashion.
I returned home to nibble on sushi and sip a few gracious glasses of wine before heading over to meet friends on the roof of a fifteen story apartment building. We sat on the roof on benches and stools overlooking the entire city. Only from way up here can anyone begin to appreciate the massive size of Seoul. The lights of skyscrapers twinkled and the highway looked like a snake on fire as it wrapped around the river.
We all sat huddled around a circle and slurred ourselves over various bottles of wine before walking to the subway. We arrived at Hongkuk Station just before midnight and I was astounded at how busy it was. Hongdae is the premier nightlife neighborhood in Seoul and it was full of energy and bustling as the night switched over to a new day. The stairs leading up to the main street exit had a ridiculously long line up so we slid our way through the mass of bodies and squished ourselves up the steps until we finally reached the top of the staircase. I stared at all of the various food stalls as they prepared for business. Little ladies dunking plump shrimp, sliced sweet potato and pork into batter and frying in a large sizzling kettle.
We zoomed up the elevator and stepped out into the entrance of OI nightclub. People come to OI for the decorum. Many people had already described OI to me as being something out of Clockwork Orange or a Smurf Village. As you walk into the small front lobby there is a heart shaped sign covered in bird feathers that reads “Remove shoes and put them in a bag.” The ceilings are low and the floors are covered in little glowing candles. The front entrance was a large oval door that looked as though it may have been stolen from Dr. Seuss’s Who-ville. Walking up a few steps and turning a sharp corner I felt as though I was in a candle lit cave. Reaching the top of the staircase I looked over the bar and was glowing with excitement.
OI is a really incredible space and reminded me a bit of Gaudi as every surface is warped, fluid and organic. Shareen had arrived with Chase earlier in the evening and had found us a little alcove under the balcony entrance. We sat on big cushions and stump sculptures as we huddled around candles and hookah. The club is organized into two story social seating areas which cling to the perimeter walls of the building. Walking from our little nook to the bar counter I walked past a mannequin fairy dressed in a frizz filled wedding dress. Butterflies, giant snow flakes and fairy’s hung from the ceiling. I walked over a bridge to arrive at the main bar where I ordered my first Bailey’s of the evening. I leaned against the bar and stared out onto the dance floor. Sculptural trees separate the dance floor and DJ booth which is located in an odd alien like tulip bulb which glows neon red.
The atmosphere is one of childish forest fairy tales and it makes everyone a bit silly. Shoes are forbidden (remember they are safely stuffed in bags), and for good reason. As I mentioned earlier, in order to walk from one end of the bar to another you must walk over various bridges. OI’s most eccentric feature is its river system and water filled dance floor. A river runs through this cutesy Smurf Village and accumulates in the main dance area about two inches off the ground. While dancing under faux tree branches in the summer you can also expect to receive a shower as rain pours over the dancers bellow. Certainly out of the ordinary. I had a great birthday chatting with all of my friends and taking in all of the odd ball beauty.
The following week I experienced three isolated moments of excitement. Firstly, I finished MFK Fisher’s food bible, The Art of Eating. After many months I slowly made it to the final seven hundred and forty-fourth page. Whenever I finish a book snap it shut, grasp it in my hands and shake it a wee bit as if quietly celebrating a small victory.
The second moment was more bizarre than anything. The Presidential election had taken place in the winter and on Wednesday the country voted for the members who would make up the Korean General Assembly. I had read in the English Korean Herald that they were forecasting the countries lowest voter turnout in years. The President announced an incentive for voters to come out to the polls which I found rather charming. Anyone who voted in the election would be mailed a card giving them a 50% discount on all government run art galleries, museums, palaces and festivals!
During my evening class, as I was conducting a brilliant and inspirational English lesson I was interrupted by a calamity outside. I walked over to the window and looked down at the intersection and found a small parade of women dressed from head to toe in blue jump suits. They each wore white gloves and performed an incredibly corny organized dance which featured many peace signs and very little movement of the legs. There was a small truck parked on the side of the street and it blasted music so loud that I could have sworn I was teaching above a concert hall. The children all jumped out of their seats and rushed over to the window. They explained to me that this was one of the candidates for the election and he was screaming on the microphone, “I am the best for the Guui-dong community!” After ten minutes of interruptive mayhem the peace signing jump suit wearing dancers packed into the truck and sped off to terrorize the next busy street corner.
My third moment of glee was on Saturday afternoon as I waited outside Gangbyeon Subway station for my date. We hopped into a taxi as I joked around with the cabby in Korean as we found ourselves stuck in mad mid day traffic. We arrived at the five star Walker Hill Hotel and Casino and bid our driver farewell as we darted into the street. The hotel is located at the bottom of the hill and we found ourselves at the top. The sidewalks were packed full of locals as everyone was here to celebrate the Cherry Blossom festival. Looking down the street it appeared as though we were walking through a fluffy pink tunnel. The Cherry trees were in full bloom and as I looked into the sky it was actually snowing pink petals. The gutters on the streets were full of little pink petals and there was a heightened sense of magic in the air.
On the top of the hill we walked through large iron gates and commented on how delicious the air smelled. The park sidewalks were lined with high end food stalls selling everything from forty dollar ribs to twenty dollar burgers (now really, come on!) We walked past several families eagerly gobbling up their food while staring out over the spectacular view of the Han River. I started to skip as I saw a large sign for the Wine Fair. We paid twenty dollars each and grabbed a wine glass. The outdoor wine fair featured a central seating area featuring two huge Cherry trees. Each of Seoul’s major wine importers lined the perimeter of the outdoor gardens offering over 120 different wines from around the world. We tasted everything from crispy Riesling from Koblenz, Champagne from Epernay and a handful of Red’s from Argentina.
My favorite man at the fair was a small Korean who spoke in a fake French accent and had this air about him that he could not possibly be wrong about anything. He had two small bottles and told me he was going to pour me “two of the best wines on earth.” He continued to tell me that this was a test. He had an evil wink in his eye. So he poured two glasses of thick yellow wine and I sniffed both. He obnoxiously asked me if I had any clue what they were just from sniffing them. I pointed to the one on the left and said “this is a Sauterne, botrytis affected wine,” and then flamboyantly pointed to the other and said “this is either a German Eiswein or a Canadian Ice Wine.” The little mans eyes nearly burst out of his eyes. He was in such shock. I had impressed the entire Korean wine world in one fowl swoop. And apparently I also impressed my date which is always excellent. The man grabbed my arm and introduced me to all of his colleagues. They all stared at me like I was some foreign rare object. I was given a free bottle of French Sauterne and waved goodbye.
Over the next two hours we slowly walked around the fair while chatting and slowly slipping into joyous inebriated states. The fair ended with an Argentinean dance couple who performed an impassioned tango. He and I were really enjoying ourselves and decided to quickly scan the booths for any last drops. We had become great friends with several of the men and woman who graciously poured wine into our glasses. We finally decided to leave as we realized that there were only five people left in front of the Wine Café. The other three were rather drunk senior citizens trying to Tango without much success.
We walked down the hill towards the Walk Hill Hotel. I was walking on air as we walked into the most beautiful hotel lobby that I have ever encountered. The open space featured several art installations, chandeliers and a seating area which consisted of egg shaped chairs and beds covered in plush pillows. We stood by the bar and stared out at the beautiful view of the Han River bellow. The bridges which criss-cross over the river glow at night with such intensity.
We marched into the casino and he played the slots for a few minutes while I stared out at the massive central card room. The card room smelled of sweet cigarette’s and cigars. At each table sat fat men with their thinny minny wives. It is illegal for Korean’s to visit Casino’s (you have to have your passport to get in). I heard people chatting in Arabic, Japanese, Chinese, German and French. A room full of incredibly wealthy gamblers from across the globe. I started to feel as though we were being watched (it may have had to do with the fact that I was prancing along the card tables and chatting with the card players). I got very excited as I heard the beautiful sound of money. He scooped up all of his winnings and ended up making over one hundred dollars in our short thirty minute visit.
We walked out of the hotel lobby and strolled towards the river. We stood directly under a massive Cherry tree. The street lamps glow cast a spectacular light show as petals snowed onto our faces. I stared up at the moon and dusted pink cherry petals from my hair as we ran for the cabs that zoomed along the highway. Spring has sprung.
